our days have been intermittently caught up in transitions; fog, snow showers, icy roads, and then, the unquenchable Arizona sun, mud, and pale faces turned towards the light. it's as if the earth can't decide if wants to be heavy with shadows, or illuminated with the rays of the sun. even so, we are just as indecisive. the gray settles over us like a heavy blanket and we welcome the illusion of true winter with open arms, but just the same, we are unexplainably joyous to see the sun when it overcomes the clouds and bathes the earth in the warmth of its kiss.
i still can't grasp the reality of 2015. a new year, goals, changes - big, and small. we don't notice the change until it's already behind us; we don't realize life has transitioned and changed, transforming us along with the seasons and those around us, until we look back. to move forward, they say you have to leave the past behind you, but remembering where you've come from is just as important as envisioning where you're going. the past is a part of who you are, stitched into your hands, etched into your mind, written on your soul.
our past is a part of us - of who we are, who we have become, and who we are constantly being shaped into - just as our future is only a vision, a hope, a collection of dreams. this new year has brought many new thoughts about my future; what i'm doing, where i'm going, and how i'm going to get there. i can't see the big picture; i don't know what my future hold, but there is hope in simply knowing that our God does. and i'm holding onto that.