4.07.2015

tell me a story, v.1


i came home three weeks ago today. i hugged you in the parking lot when i left, our hearts beating next to each other, a cacophony of rhythms pounding in our chests, struggling to get closer, closer. always closer. our heartbeats, a throbbing ache that keep us alive, and at the same time, reminds us of what we're missing. it always amazes me how something so fragile can be so strong; how something so easily broken can keep us alive to be put back together, and shattered all over again. 

five short days until i saw you again. and even though love knows no distance, the heart feels the absence of someone it loves as poignantly as if it was a physical wound. missing someone is a tender ache. it's a fragile thing. not something you can touch, or see, but oh, how you feel it. i hear the whispering in my chest, a throbbing echo, proof that i'm alive, but also a reminder that i am hollow, cracking and expanding as my heart is stretched the distance to where you are. after all, the heart is the one thing that will not be reasoned with. 

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i follow scores of tread marks to the shadowed land of concrete streets and clouded skies. even the brazen blue expanse overhead is misty with smoke, as if the tall buildings are breathing in clouds, and exhaling reluctantly released dreams. it's not a mystery why my feet are rooted in the country, but there is a certain sadness in the very largeness of a city. a million, billion people trying to fit into a puzzle that only has room for few pieces. 

it's puzzling how a building can become a place of safety for something as fragile and shy as a heart. a structure of wood and nails and concrete and cement and metal and screws with the capabilities of drawing the words "home" from our faltering lips. we associate a place with the word, but there is a difference between the feeling of home, and the actual place. the place holds material comfort and assurance, but we find our true place of dwelling in the nearness and presence of the ones we love. and oh, how i love you. as i've said a thousand times before, i would follow you until the ends of the earth. 

don't you know? my home is found wherever you are. and so, i follow you.
(a bit of fiction combined with a recent journal entry.) 

10 comments:

  1. this is amazing. you have a beautiful heart <3 I couldn't agree more

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  2. "...but we find our true place of dwelling in the nearness and presence of the ones we love."

    and oh, how true that is.

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  3. ohhh, mikailah. this is pure magic!

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  4. this is so achingly beautiful, friend. your words are so poignant and rich.

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  5. "it's puzzling how a building can become a place of safety for something as fragile and shy as a heart."
    I love that.

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  6. "my home is found wherever you are."

    you spin these words like a true artist. i can't believe how much i needed each one.

    xoxo

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  7. mmmm...oh, darling. I miss your words so much. they fill the empty bits of my soul. can't wait to talk soon. xx

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thanks for commenting, and sharing some love. ♥