9.08.2017

11:30 p.m.




September crept through the door unnoticed this year; or, perhaps, not unnoticed, but rather as if we were lost in the passage of time, too caught up in the hours slipping through our fingers to realize that those hours were days and those days were months - and those months had dropped us on the cusp of autumn, clinging to a season that we wanted to release, but that held too much in her worn bindings and yellowed pages for us to ever be truly ready to let go of.

reality is a cold mistress. she hides behind dreams and hopes and days so far off in the future that we speak of them as if they'll never happen; as if "somedays" automatically become "nevers" once they're released into the air; because, maybe, we've been trained to accept the harsh conception that life is something that never truly changes - because, maybe, we don't want to believe it will.

i feel this goodbye in the chest already; ripping holes into my heart... and my departure is still a month away. how do you hold onto something that will be a thousand miles away? how do you let go of something that is cemented into your chest with strands of time that nothing will (could) ever break?

everywhere i go reminds me of you; every memory i have, you're right there with me. goodbyes do not mean "see you later", because everytime you say it, something changes. no matter how much you want it to stay the same, it shifts, just a little bit, a tidal wave crashing over everything we swore was untouchable; unbreakable; unchangeable.

with every hello, we learn that life consists of greetings and farewells, and with every goodbye, we realize there's nothing we can do to change that.

xo
--

(p.s. i'm moving to Ohio in exactly a month. 1,800 miles away. it's a big step. but today is my last day of work and i'm ready for a step forward; a new season in my life. what's going on with you, friends? x)

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